POS:How does your ministerial background inform your approach to Black male-female relationships?
KK: I became a minister because I had an unloving experience with a clergy person. Many people have asked me over the years how I left practicing law and became a joyful, Celebrant and interfaith minister. Believe it or not, probably like you, I knew more about what I didn’t want from a clergy person than I knew about how a clergy person could enrich my life. And then something happened: A defining moment in my life took place in 1998 when I stood up during a hateful sermon and started to question the minister. It was a difficult time for me. I was a very idealistic, lawyer with low self-esteem.
For the second time in a row, I had resigned from a high profile, legal advocacy organization. Extremely depressed and lost, I started attending church. It seemed like a safe, friendly place. As the weeks unfolded, I become stronger and more centered.
To answer this question, it’s probably best that I share with you a defining moment and resulting “compelling story” that brought me to where I am today, creating and performing, custom tailored, meaningful, memorable wedding ceremonies.
Over the years many people have asked me why I left practicing law and became a joyful, professional Celebrant and interfaith minister.So, on the Sunday that the preacher started in on Romans 1:26-27 and I would not passively listen to a sermon that cast lesbians and gay men out of the church. I was shocked. I kept thinking, “courage! Courage!” I had come to realize that if, during those two bad job experiences, I had had the courage to speak my conviction things might not have ended up in such a sad situation for everyone involved.In that spirit, I stood up and said, “But what did Jesus say? We call ourselves, ‘Christians.’ What did Jesus say? It was going on all around him. Homosexuality is nothing new.” The minister tried to continue his sermon but I asked again, “I want to know what Jesus said about homosexuality?” Because Jesus never addressed the issue, the pastor had no answer for me and soon his sermon was over.
I went to dinner after that sermon and continued to go to church sporadically and most other church members continued to accept and respect me. But it was never the same.However, I made a commitment to myself to find a way to return to the peace I had found in church in the spring of 1998. I began to study many different paths. I read every book on faith and spirituality that I could get my hands on. I took courses at the Open Center and talked to experts. I essentially decided to become my own mini-expert on peace and spirituality.And it worked in a way I could have never imagined. Two years after that shocking Sunday, I started a new position, as a contract attorney. Here I learned about the Celebrant Institute and Foundation.
They were introducing a new way to affirm people from every belief system. Instantly, I knew that this was the right path for me. I would have the opportunity to share the peace I had found with people in a non-judgmental, warm and engaging way.As a Celebrant I have the opportunity to give what I had been denied. My mission is to honor and respect all beliefs and traditions – secular, spiritual, interfaith and religious. Everyone can feel safe with me. So, when I interact with couples I strive to do so with no judgment, focusing only on love. To me it is about two souls uniting to love and be loved. To heal and be healed. That to me is the purpose of relationships and this understanding grows directly from my challenging experience in church those many years ago.
@Kim: As a father, my daughter knows I would without hesitation give my life for her, as I believe your father would for you, there’s no bond stronger than that of a father and his little girl.
@Kim: As a father, my daughter knows I would without hesitation give my life for her, as I believe your father would for you, there’s no bond stronger than that of a father and his little girl.