Getting a divorce can be a big decision, and the process of organizing how your life is going to be as a newly single person is often not a trivial one. Of course, friends and family can be very important to you at this time, and it can make the world of difference to have their support, but speaking to them at first to break the news can be a bit daunting.
Here are some things to think about when it comes to talking to your family and friends about your divorce.
Expect Them to Ask Questions
While it is most likely that your family and friends will be sympathetic to your situation, they will also want to know if there are practical ways that they can help you, and for that, they will want to know exactly what the current situation is. If you have children with your spouse, they will probably want to know what your plans are in terms of custody or visitation, and so it is best to have thought about these things and perhaps spoken to a good family lawyer first, so that you can fill people in on the situation without being overwhelmed by all of the things they will want to know. It is also likely to put their minds at ease, and to take the divorce seriously, if they know that you already have a good lawyer such as this Charleston family lawyer in your corner.
Try and be Objective
Emotions may be running high, but it is best to talk to your family in a way that doesn’t focus too much on blame or where the marriage went wrong. You may be angry with your spouse now, or hurt, but if you are going to have to build a cooperative relationship with them eventually because you have shared custody of children, it is a bad idea if your family hate them! Try and focus on the future, and how your life is changing, rather than any regrets you have or ways you feel mistreated.
There may be some things you feel are too personal, or which your family wouldn’t understand or support you over. Relationships between couples are intimate and private, and there is no reason that you should feel obliged to reveal anything more than you want to to your family just because the relationship has ended and they’re curious. Feel free to say that you don’t want to discuss certain things if they make you uncomfortable, or to say that you haven’t made certain decisions yet and aren’t ready to tackle them (for instance when it comes to things like whether you will move away or change your last name). You have no obligation to lay everything bare or answer questions that make you uneasy, and you can be firm about this.
Your family and friends may be surprised about your impending divorce, or, if there have been issues in your marriage that they were already aware of, less so, but whatever your situation, having them be aware of what you are going through can be a real help.